Have you ever stopped to think how you parent?
How your experiences, beliefs, personality, and emotions shape the way you raise your child?
Are there are things you do intentionally? Or things you avoid?
What about the things you say? Or don’t?
These questions delve into the heart of self-reflection in parenting — a practice that is often overlooked amidst the busyness of our lives. It’s a practice that really makes us pause and reflect; that encourages us to be more mindful, deliberate, and thoughtful in our approach.
As a parent, it’s easy to be swayed by societal pressures, advice, and opinions. But self-reflection offers a chance to align the way we parent with who we are, or you want to be. By looking inward, we get to know ourselves better, and how this shapes our children, positively and negatively. And we get the chance to use this understanding in a meaningful way.
So, what are the benefits of self-reflection in parenting?
It builds empathy and understanding.
Reflecting on our own experiences makes us better at understanding our children's emotions. When we acknowledge our own fears, worries and vulnerabilities, we're more able to connect with theirs.
It gives us the opportunity to break unhelpful strategies across generations.
Introspection empowers us to leave behind patterns that no longer serve us or our children. This creates a new way of doing things and invites positive change.
It models self-care.
By taking care of ourselves, we show our children the importance of wellbeing. We show them kindness and self-compassion, and ways to nurture their physical and psychological health.
It strengthens connections.
As we understand our ourselves, we become more attuned to, and present for our children. By doing this, we are more able to truly understand their needs and desires.
It embraces growth.
Through introspection, we can identify things we want to change. When we do this, we teach our children that learning and self-improvement is possible.
It cultivates authenticity.
Introspection helps us discover our true selves. Embracing this authenticity lets us parent from a place of genuine openness and vulnerability.
How can parents self-reflect more?
Schedule reflection time.
This can be alone, or with your partner, in a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted. Ask questions to guide your thinking and consider recording your responses in a notebook.
Find ways to be present.
Practise mindfulness regularly, like deep breathing or meditation. This will help you focus in the here-and-now. From here, you’ll be able to notice your thoughts and feelings — but do so, without judgement.
Notice your triggers.
Pay close attention to the way you respond to your children. Reflect on what triggers certain reactions and emotions and how you can respond more thoughtfully next time.
Set intentions.
At the start of each day, get clear on how you want to show up for your children. Think about how you want them to think, feel and do, because of your influence.
While we're busy being parents, we shouldn't forget how important it is to look inward. Self-reflection gives us the opportunity to learn who we are and consider who we want to be. To be the best version of ourselves, and the best parent we can, we must truly understand ourselves. This way, we can approach our parenting in a meaningful, deliberate, and purposeful way.
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